As the mother of the bride or groom, it is important to realize your role on the wedding day. Communicating tasks you volunteer to do in the planning stage is important. These tips are for the wedding day itself.
The Big Day
Getting ready for your son’s or daughter’s wedding is exciting. It can also be very stressful. Knowing what is expected of you can really help ease the pressure you may feel. Of course, much of the communication has already happened in planning the wedding and the wedding shower. Feel prepared for the wedding day, so you can really enjoy and capture the memories of the day in your heart. Your first, and most important job, is to be your child’s mom. However they need you to be for them. Below are some other things to consider:
Be a Source of Support, not Stress!
If you feel an urge to micro-manage or take over, STOP! Know your roles. Know your place. And know that this is meant to be a day your child has dreamed about and will look back on with love and fondness. Make sure you are checking yourself that your ‘helping’ isn’t taking over. Make sure you are creating what your child wants, not what you want. Get rid of your own expectations for the day. Listen and act on what your child is suggesting.
Know What to Persist With and What to Let Go Of!
If you have always dreamed of a mother-son dance, and that was missed in the planning, ask for what you want. Don’t be demanding. Presenting a polite request and communicating how important it is to you is enough. But this is only effective when you let other things slide. If you are pestering your child on their big day with every detail, chances are you will become more stressful than helpful to them. Let go of the small things, and recognize it is their day.
Handle the Details of the Guests, the Venue, the Music…
Take the demands of planning details on your child’swedding day off your child. Intercept guest requests and details of seating, for example. If someone needs a booster seat for their child at the table, find one for them. If the band or hired DJ needs an extension cord, know who to ask from at the venue you’re at. If the caterer is short of prime rib and some guests have to switch to the salmon, ask a few guests discretely. Handling the little details that will arise, and minimizing the distractions for your child is more helpful than pestering the happy couple.
Be gracious to your child for including you. Be a gracious hostess and contact person for the wedding guests. Be polite to any family members (or ex-spouses) that you have tension with. Your child does not need extra stress and worry from dealing with your dramas and personal relationships.
Written with the help of our friends at ChescaDirect.